The Journey of a Survivor

Well tomorrow I defend my masters. Wow, it’s been a long road getting here—4 years of schooling for my masters degree. I have been working full time and going to school, so school feels like it has taken forever. The good thing is I will have no school loans from my masters. I still owe money from my undergrad, but I am slowly paying that off.

I am tired of school. I am ready to graduate. Really, I think I am burnt out on school. I spend 2 years in a junior college, 4 years in my undergrad and now part time graduate school for 4 years. I am ready for a break. Through all my schooling I have held fulltime jobs to help pay the bills.

The hardest part right now is facing my masters committee. I have to defend my work and prove I know what I am talking about. Prove that I have learned enough to earn a masters degree. That’s a lot of pressure. I am so horrible at talking in front of others…I am afraid I am going to forget everything I know. I don’t really have great self esteem so this is going to be real hard on me. I am terrified of failing. I should be hitting the books right now, but I am too nervous.

It’s pretty amazing that a person like me is getting a masters degree. Considering my background I could have just given in and been an unemployed alcoholic like the rest of my family. I have fought and clawed my way through all this. It has not been easy—being the first in my family to go to college has been a challenge. I have had no support—my father said I was wasting my time—I should be at home having children. But, here I am—ready for the big day. I hope I am lucky tomorrow—that’s what its going to take—a little bit of luck.